my photos....lurve 'em..

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so empty, so lonely.....................

call me egoistic, hot-headed or mean...i used to hate him...see, it's "used to" hate but not now....i hated him like god knows what..man, he made life a living hell for me back in school...all because he wanted to be mr popular...popular amongst the in-group in the class....i didn't mind at first but as time passes by, it seems to grow more out of hand...he was way overboard...i admit that i provoked him but he didn't have to be so cruel and mean...wth...i missed the times we had together...really....eventhough i may hate him so darn much but i still remember the good things he did for me....that's unforgettable...okay, i admit it....i love him okay....but i'm attached to world's most brilliant guy....i'm feeling so guilty right now...i don't wanna break his heart neither do i wanna lie to myself....dddddddddddaaaaaangssssssssssss, this feeling just gotta suck....you are just one guy i had to meddle my life to get to, sean..you made me this way....shit you lah....haiz.......today's he's birthday....and i wished him like a normal friend....you see, eventhough we hated each other, he still took notice of me...what i wore, who i hang out with and all that...i mean...i know that deep down he misses me...i just know that...it's a woman's instinct....haha....humours aside......but without him, i felt that a part of me was so lost that i couldn't regain it back....no matter how hard i tried, it still feels so empty inside of me......so empty, so lonely..........

graduation.....*sobssobs*...i'm ecstatic...nah...i will miss my buds..

here's the ever-so-popular hendy...he's hot!!!
farewell assembly was on the second day of raya...man, i was darn lazy to go to school lah but then again it was the last day and i had to show up 'cause i will miss my buddies and that would be the last time we would ever be in the class....man, i'm gonna miss hendy...<3 forever....i'm gonna miss my pals from the other classes especially samantha my pantat friend, nabilah the giler edan and ultimately my bestie, dalila the lala gal..haha....but on the same day, a bad news had to be shared by the ever so unpopular ah foong, the irritating mozzie!!(she still owes me $5.30, a box of ferrero rocher and my badge, arghh, LOSER lah YOU!!)..they had no other choice but had to close down st john....the only thing that i enjoy going and doing most in school....dangs man..i was so angry with that idiotic balding bastard who puts on a smile but keeps ill feelings in his heart....arghhh...you're the other loser, baldy!!! i'm gonna miss my pampers family; gone-case(marc sim), nanipu(zhiwen), mrt(darren), blur(don),slacker(danial), number one(clarence), number two(fawwaz) and mama(dalila)....so much has happened in that school.....so much....i cry, smile, laugh when i look at my school....i'm gonna miss it badly...so sooo badly.....haha....vivid memories are always kept at heart especially st john memories....haiz....enough mopping already...here are some nice pics i took with my darlings...they rock!!!

when hate turns to love...DUMB MISTAKE!!!

what happens when hate turns to love? does it last?
a friend of mine, indeed we were once the best of friends...he's a nice guy...the only guy who turned up for my birthday party when everyone turned their backs against me coming up with all the bullshit and crap stories for not being able to make it..he was there to light up my special moment....he's a gentle man with a HUGE ego....overwhelming ego man...really...but the weird thing is that he understand me, like how a girl understands another girl's feeling...but as the days passed, things grew complicated...we started getting closer in a over friendly way....i wasn't feeling comfortable....so i made a stupid move and avoided him...he tried so hard apologizing but it fell on deaf ears...i was so stupid...and now, HE HATES ME and he makes everyone hate me by makig up stories that never existed....i hated him too...i thought i would never forgive him...but this funny, jerky, ticklish feeling called love overcomes me and blinded me from all the bad things that he had done to me....oh my gosh...i got so blind to see things going around me was getting much worst....dang it...urgh... i was so stoooooopid to fall in love with someone who meddled with my life....urgh...I HATE YOU SEAN HO WEN ZHENG, you are the utmost IDIOTIC bastard alive....MALE CHAUVANISTIC PIG!!!!!!!!!

o level stress....bleahzzzz

it's been a really, really long time since i've updated my blog.....O'LEVEL STRESS!! my god, only Allah knows how blady stressed out i am right now....but it's okay....i've studied my butt off and i believe that i can do well lah....optimistic me...good...hahas....6 more papers to go...can do it lah...after 16th, i'm FREE...yeah...but dangs, plans are interrupted....thought of going dinner with lerp and friends but dear lerp has to go to austalia on the same day for a U2 concert...i'm gonna kill you lerp!!! haha...it's okay lah....they are other days...stuck in a dilemma...don't know where to go for first three months...tuesday got briefing...haiz..lazy...just want to laze around at home
and do nothing....lazy,lazy me...hahas...

BOBBY LAMB - MR LION

bobby is a soft toy tht belongs to levan..haha...this soft toy seemed to have a mind of it's own and it's so cute..hehe...i love BOBBY

striving for the goal..............

i think today is the highlight of the week....vice principal came to our class to greet us and mdm koh a.k.a the penguin menace and our lovable mama, ms shek came to our class to give out laminated plstic motivational cards......the school was in a state of disbelief when they saw our maths results...record breaking....mr kamath has produced hardworking students and we believe he deserves every single bit of that......but what really makes us all motivated?? is it mr kamath or mr sandhu or simply just ourselves...as for me, my motivational icon is non other than my mother...she is the woman behind the scenes of my successes in life...she was the one who gave me courage and stood by me whether rain or shine....she is my hero.....my results for prelims aren't satisfying because i know that i can do better....more hard work, determination and perseverance,i will reach the top of the ladder......i know i can...i must do what i believe i can do.....I WILL STRIVE FOR MY GOAL

A goal to achieve....achievable or plain impossible?

When was the time when one feels so happy, delirious, ecstatic?? I remembered the last time i felt so happy, thinking i was living life in utopia, no worries, no pain, no sufferings. Sad to say that was like two years ago when i thought that my life was all so perfect. Never once did i realise that my life was getting tougher and tougher as time slips away. Now life for me is all about chasing the ultimate goal which i find almost impossible to achieve, to excel in my academics. It is every student's dream of doing well and entering prestigious institutions and later on work and earn big bucks and live a luxurious life. But there's more to it than just getting good grades. One has to be mentally prepared. You can't possibly be studying every single day and have no time for your life. That's so CRAZY. But then again when you look back, you just need to face it. Singapore is developing at a very rapid rate and the demands from us students are higher, juggling both academics and aesthetics. Parents expect alot from their children. Well you can't blame them though! They're just asking for a little after putting alot of investments on their children. That's the pivotal part of a student's life. TO bring joy and happiness to their parents and not take them as naggy, old folks who rambles most of the time and gives out loud-screeching noises, able to burst your eardrums. To me, my parents are my angels in disguise. Never once do they ever say anything to make me feel down or discourage me in any ways. I love my parents. My love for them trancends the boundaries of life. They are the ones who made me who I am today and I'm grateful for the things they've done for me. Words can't describe how much they've toiled and put all their hard work together to bring me up and put me to school. Simply as said, I LOVE MY PARENTS! Thank you for nurturing me and raising me up to be a respectable and useful human being. MY ultimate goals in life is to score straight A's for my O'Level Examinations. Sometimes i do wonder whether my goal is achievable or just plain impossible. I tell myself countless times, if others can do it, why can't I? I can do it! With the right attitude and ambition, one will achieve! I often construct castles in air, imagining the things that i can do and improve the lives of my parents, giving them the best i could. I know I can do it. It just takes perseverance, determination and consistence in what ever I'm doing and the outcome will be clear. Every single day, I thanked Allah for a blessed family which i couldn't ask for more. They are my heroes, my angels and my companions for life. THANK YOU, MY WONDRFUL FAMILY!!!